"Do not be unbelieving, but believe"

                                            Source: saints.sqpn.com

Mass is many things for many people. Above all, it is the great prayer of the Church, where we come together as as a family, to gather at the table of sacrifice, to be nourished physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, wholly by the Body and Blood of Christ, in both Word and Sacrament. It is eucharistia, our thanksgiving. And while every Mass should be like this, but every once in awhile, you go to Mass and you leave feeling like that Mass was just for you. Like Christ knew your heart, which he does, and that He willed for that Mass to be celebrated just for you.

Today, on this Divine Mercy Sunday, I was blessed with such a Mass. In that church (St. Louis in Waco), I felt as if God sat beside me and whispered in my ear, "This is for you. I see your heart. I see your struggles. I have heard your cries and your prayers. This Mass...this is part of my answer. Take comfort in it. Take comfort in my Beloved Son. I brought you here, to this sacred space and to this place in your life, and I will get you through it. Take the peace of my Son into your heart. I have heard you and I am here. This is for you. I love you."

I know what you're thinking...that's a little hard to believe...this guy is crazy. Sometimes I find it hard to believe too. My troubles are insignificant, and I'm just fantasizing about God. This Mass is for everyone, for all God's people, not just me. But if you sat where I sat today, if you were me, you would know what I'm talking about. You would believe me. But belief is a difficult thing...especially if you are struggling with something or another. It's hard to believe in a divine presence, its hard to believe in God, in something so amazingly intangible, especially in this day and age. It's easy to believe in the visible, instead of the invisible.

Take today's Gospel. The disciples, minus St. Thomas, were in a locked room and I could only imagine what was going through their heads. They saw Christ crucified and now what were they supposed to do. Think back to when you were younger and you were at the mall or the store with your parents. You let go of your parents hand for one second, and all of sudden, you're lost. You can't find them. I'm sure it's happened to most of us. I know it happened to me alot. What did you do? You stood there, terrified. You didn't know what to do, you didn't want to move, you were so paralyzed by the fear of being lost, of being without your parents, so you cried. In reality, your parents were probably no more than a few feet from you, so close, but you were still paralyzed at the thought of being alone, you couldn't think straight. That's how I imagine the Apostles at that time. Paralyzed by fear, by the thought of having lost Christ. What were they supposed to do now? And then poof! Christ is there. "Peace be with you". Why were those Christ's first words? "Peace be with you." What were your parents first words to you when you finally found them after being lost, after crying your eyes out? "It's ok, I'm here." "Peace be with you".  It's all ok, I am here. And in their unbelief, He shows them His hands and side. And then the same is with St. Thomas, who would not believe until he saw. They all struggled with loss and it was a struggle that could not be eased by belief in the intangible, in the invisible. So Christ had to appear again, He had to show His hands and side to show that he was real. He appeared again, and said "Peace be with you". He appeared again, provided tangible proof, so that their struggle was made easier.

I think it's safe to say that is the message of Easter, the message of the Resurrection. That after saving us from ourselves, from our great sin, Christ is always there. That in our struggle, in our great unbelief, Christ is there to give us peace. But Christ's reappearance to His followers has a second meaning for us as Christians. Just like Christ, we, too, are supposed to make ourselves visible to the world, as Father so eloquently said in his homily at Mass today. As Catholics, we are blessed to have the Blessed Sacrament, to have Christ, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, right there on the altar and in the tabernacle. We are blessed to literally "see" him. But for others who do not share our belief, for our Protestant brothers and sisters, for those who do not believe in Christ, how will they see Him? The answer is through us. As "little Christs", we are called to be visible in this world, to be the visible, outward sign of God's love for humanity. We are called to be visible love and visible peace, both inherently intangible and invisible concepts. Through us, we make the love and peace of Christ visible.

I am struggling with so much in my life right now. My faith, my belief is...unsteady. It's hard to admit that, especially for a self-proclaimed devout Catholic. I have defined myself to others through my faith, so to struggle in this regard is unnerving. I am lonely, and miserable, and lost. So that's why it felt like today's Mass was just for me. God saw all of that, and felt it. So in His infinite love, through the divine mercy of His Risen Son, this Mass was celebrated for me. You may not believe that, and even I might question it, but for the first time in a really long time, I felt some small measure of peace today. After feeling abandoned for so long, today felt a little less lonely, and a little more hopeful. I was St. Thomas, coming to my knees, and proclaiming "My Lord and my God!".

God was helping me to believe again. Christ was showing me a little divine mercy. I was a lost and frightened child, but God said "It's ok, I'm here. I'm here. This is for you. I love you. Believe that". Friends, Christ is here with us, just a few steps away, ready to comfort us and guide us as we go out into the world, being visible signs of His love, peace, and divine mercy.

Let us pray that we "do not be unbelieving, but believe". That we may be as blessed as those who have not seen but still believe. Let us pray for the Divine Mercy of Christ, for us and for the whole world, because we so desperately need it. Let us pray as little children and remember that Christ, no matter how lost we feel, is always close by.

Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole word.

O Holy God, O Holy Might One, O Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Jesus, I trust in you.

Pax vobiscum.