"Someone Worth Dying For"

This is where I will start my road back to being found...to being someone worth dying for.

Perditus Catholicam

It means "lost Catholic". That's what I've been, for the better part of the last two years. I've been lost. More lost than Dante in his dark wood. More lost than a slave ship captain that sang about an amazing grace. More lost than the other half to a pair of socks. I've been lost in a place with seemingly unending darkness, with no light to guide me. I had strayed so far off whatever path I was meant to lead that when I look back, I wonder how I could have gotten so far off track. I look back at my life and barely recognize it anymore. I guess it's more appropriate to say that I look at myself, and I don't recognize myself anymore. I hate looking in the mirror because this stranger looks back at me and it terrifies me.

I was once this devout Catholic, more devout than the majority of Catholics. I was a retreat junkie, heaven bent on spreading my faith to anyone who would listen with an open heart. I was determined to light a fire under lukewarm Catholics, determined to open the eyes of others to the beauty of my faith, just as my eyes were opened. People would comment on my faith, how inspiring it was, to be so young, yet so old at the same time. I had daydreams of being a priest of God, of how my homilies would go, how I would be with a new family in their joy, or with a grieving family at the lost of a loved one. I daydreamed of hearing confessions and offering penance and absolution to the lost and weary soul. I dreamed of being something more, of being the best Catholic, and in turn, the best human being, I possibly could be.

And now here I am. So far gone from all of that. Now my dreams consist of simply making it to the next day. My dreams are nightmares, of what could possibly go wrong next. My nightmares are those dreams of what I used to be. I cannot remember the last time I went to Mass, the last time I stepped foot in a church. I don't know what its like to be on that retreat high anymore, what its like to have someone tell you how inspiring your faith is. I can't remember what its like to feel at home in a church anymore, what its like to fall to my knees in front of the tabernacle. I don't remember any of that anymore. I am afraid to remember any of that anymore, afraid to see, afraid to cry and keep crying forever.

I want all of that again. Desperately. More desperately than I've wanted anything before. And I think finally, I'm ready to reach for that want. To find all of what I used to be. To be all that I used to be. And if I can't be what I used to be, then I will be better. I desperately want to find, but most of all, I want to go from perditus to invenit. I want to be a "found Catholic".

May God bless you...and me.

Viva il Papa!

May God forever keep His Holiness, Benedict XVI, Pope Emeritus of the Holy Catholic Church.


May the Father give strength to the College of Cardinals. May Jesus Christ the Son have mercy on them. May the Holy Spirit guide them as they enter Conclave. May the Almighty God bless them.

May the next Pope be a worthy and humble man, as he guides the Barque of St. Peter in this stormy world.

May God bless the Pope, Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, and Servant of the Servants of God!

Ash Wednesday

It's the start of Lent. It's been a long time since I've posted anything in this blog. But I thought I might put in a few daily reflections as a part of my Lent.

Much has happened since my last post. I think the most significant thing is that I have lost the will to attend Mass. When I'm with my family, I go. But on my own, I no longer. I would like to be able to say that I simply go less than I used to (which was pretty much daily), but that is not the case. I have not gone, not daily Mass, not Sundays, not Holy Days of Obligation. Today, I even missed Mass and the Distribution of Ashes. And this torments me. There are no words to properly describe the despair I feel. I can go to Mass, physical transportation is not the issue. It's just that after everything's that happened, I just don't feel like it anymore. It is one of the most terrible feelings in the world. To lose interest and passion about something that you once held so dear.

But hopefully this Lent will change that. I gave up Facebook, as I always do. But this year, I am going to make a Lenten purpose, one that I never thought I would ever have to make since I was Confirmed: I am going to go to Mass more. Maybe I'll start off with just attempting to go to Sunday Masses, and from there, who knows. I just want it back, to love Mass and my faith as I once did.

It's like one of those nightmares, where you recognize you're dreaming but you can't seem to wake yourself up. You try to move and you try to scream, all in the hopes that you'll wake from the nightmare. That's what it feels like. My heart wants nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare of a Mass-less world, but no matter how much the heart wants, the mind is horribly unwilling, and definitely unyielding. But I will try. I've lived in a nightmare for too long. I long to wake up, and see the Daylight once more.

To anyone who may stumble across this blog, I humbly beg you to pray for me. My journey will be long and tiring, and hopefully by the end of it, I will come out like John the Baptist, ready to proclaim the way of the Lord.

Peace and blessings to any and to all. Happy Journeying.

Inspiring Mom

No this post isn't about my own mother...that one comes later. This post, or rather homage, is to another mother, a very amazing one in fact. For so many reasons, especially this one:

Amazing right? You see, there are a lot of really ugly things in the world. Not to judge, but the girl who told her that she "was horrible for not aborting" her baby boy, was probably one of them. If you go on YouTube, and watch this video, you would be shocked by some people, few that they were, and the horribly ugly things they say. Some have used the video as a platform to spew their pro-abortion and atheistic bile. Some have said things similar to that girl that was referred to in the video. But for all the ugliness, no matter how much or how great, it can be tempered by one, even minute, beautiful thing or person. This little baby boy...he's one of those beautiful things. His mother...another one. For every single ugly comment on this video, there were hundreds of people to rebuke them.

I do want to say one thing. As much as we are tempted to use this video in our pro-life campaigns, because it is an appropriate and great one, let's not. Let's appreciate it for what it is without ulterior (albeit good) motive: a loving mother and a beautiful boy. You see friends, in our world today, the story of life and family does not alwats have a happy ending. I thank God that we are so amazingly blessed that, at least, this story does.

Happy Mother's Day. Peace and blessings.

Homeward Bound

As soon as I'm done cleaning, I'll be hittin' the road on my way back home. I miss it so much. Not really lookin' forward to a 2.5 hour drive, but it'll be worth it.

Motorist's Prayer

Grant me, O Lord, a steady hand and watchful eye, that no one shall be hurt as I pass by. 

Thou gavest life, I pray no act of mine may take away or mar that gift of Thine.
Shelter those, dear Lord, who bear my company from the evils of fire and all calamity.

Teach me to use my car for others need; 

Nor miss through love of undue speed, the beauty of the world; t

hat thus I may with joy and courtesy go on my way.
St. Christopher, holy patron of travelers, protect me, and lead me safely to my destiny.

Stressed

Just a little bit stressed, so I thought I would post the Serenity Prayer. It's not exactly a Catholic prayer, but beautiful nonetheless.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 

Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life 

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

Finals Finally Done

Finals are finally done. Couple of grades are already in and they are fantastic! Praise God. Still waiting to hear from a few more, but all in all, I've come out of this no worse for the wear.

Looking back on this particular Finals season, I had a few moments of...utter despair. A breakdown, if you will. There was some crying involved, some freaking out, some anger. But mostly, a whole lot of prayer. My studying was dedicated to the Holy Mother, along with the intercessions of St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino. As is fitting, it is my duty and privilege to let others know of this intercession on my behalf to the Father and His Son. So with joy and thanksgiving, thank you St. Thomas and St. Joseph (along with Blessed Pope John Paul II and my patron, St. Lorenzo) for your prayers. But most of all, thank you Mama Mary. May those who read this post know of the power of the intercession of these saints.

In honor of St. Joseph, St. Thomas, and the Blessed Virgin Mary, I offer these things for your enjoyment:

A trailer of The Reluctant Saint, a movie about the life of St. Joseph of Cupertino. I really want to watch this:

A Gregorian rendition of Adoro Te Devote, the eucharistic hymn written by St. Thomas Aquinas, typically sung during Eucharistic Adoration (click here for the Latin and English verses):

And lastly, in honor of Mama Mary, probably without a doubt, my favorite version of Salve Regina (some of you may cringe, but I still like it nonetheless. Rest assured, I intend no disrespect, it's just fun):

All praise, honor, and thanksgiving is due to the Holy and Immortal One, our Heavenly Father, for the sacrifice of His Son, for granting the intercession of his holy saints on my behalf, and for the abundance of blessings He has poured out for you and for me.

Pax vobiscum.

This Song Always Makes Me Feel Better

As a counter to my earlier depressing rant, I offer this song: All Creatures of Our God and King. This is without a doubt one of my favorite hymns to listen to and to sing to. I love it anytime it's sung, but I think it is most appropriate when used as an entrance hymn. I remember during one Easter Mass last year, I was a thurifer and this hymn was the entrance hymn. I'll tell you, hearing it on the organ with a full choir, I felt high...spiritually high, like I was so amazingly and ridiculously excited for the Mass. Whenever I hear it, it brings a smile to my heart and helps me to ready it, especially for the Mass. I think this is how the Almighty One should always be praised and glorified and adored. It's just...awesome.

This version, the traditional version, is amazing. This YouTube video, even with the corny slideshow, is an amazing rendition.

What most people don't know is that "All Creatures of Our God and King" was actually translated from St. Francis of Assisi's Canticle of the Sun. So for all our Protestant brothers and sisters...you're welcome...another gift of the Catholic Church. Lol.

Now to be fair, David Crowder has his own rendition of this song as well. From the amount of originally Catholic hymns that David Crowder uses, he should convert to Catholicism. Of course, this version has a bit of a more modern feel to it, but I think it goes to show, that Christian music, no matter what its form, can be beautiful. But being the traddie that I am, I still love the first one more. Here's David Crowder's version:

Either way, this song always makes me feel better, as most hymns do. I hope it does the same for you!

Pax vobiscum.

Really Confused

Ever since I've started blogging, I've become more deeply aware of the many issues and topics in the Catholic world. My Reading List is filled with numerous Better Bloggers and I've found myself slightly...addicted, you could say, to logging on and reading the latest piece of Catholic news.

Ever since I've started blogging, I've also become more deeply aware of just how many problems are plaguing the Catholic Church, both externally and internally. You see, it's troubling enough when the faith is attacked from outside sources: atheists, Protestants, secularism, politics, ignorance, etc. But, and I want to emphasize this, it is absolutely horrifying and deeply disturbing when the faith is undermined and subverted from the inside by supposedly Catholic individuals, organizations, and institutions. Take a look at my Better Bloggers list in the sidebar and pretty much every title has something to do with the latest Catholic scandal: the HHS mandate; Sebelius and Georgetown and a whole host of other "Catholic" universities inviting very non-Catholic individuals as "inspiring" commencement speakers; priests and religious (both men and women) teaching issues that counter the doctrine and dogma, essentially bordering on heresy; bishops, priests, religious, and lay faithful bringing scandal upon scandal; liturgical abuses; modernism, humanism, pluralism, and borderline schismatic traditionalism; and a whole bunch of other crap (sorry =/) that is literally tearing the [American] Church apart.

Ever since I've started blogging, I have become more and more...depressed...upset...troubled...angry. Take your pick. But I think at the heart of it all, honestly, is that I'm just really confused. Not necessarily confused about outside attack, that just comes with the faith, although I am slightly confused as to how people can still be so ignorant in this day and age. What I'm really confused about is subversion from the inside. I know, I'm using really loaded words, but that's a college student for you I guess. You see, in my opinion, our Catholic faith is both simultaneously extremely difficult and extremely easy. Difficult because a lot of our teachings and tenants are difficult to accept or follow, particularly in today's society...at least some would say. Easy because all our beliefs, all our doctrines and dogmas, are right there, plain and simple. It's called the Catechism. We know what makes us Catholic and we know what doesn't. See? Easy.

Now I know that most likely, a majority of the lay faithful, probably don't know some of the more deeply theological and spiritual tenants of Catholicism. But every Catholic, especially given recent news, knows the major moral stuff: abortion, death penalty, homosexuality, poverty, euthanasia, basic Ten Commandment type issues. In the Catholic faith, there isn't any really moral ambiguity. That's not to say the act of sinning and a person's reason is completely black and white. There's always a chance of grey area when it comes to personal reasons for sin. It does not change the fact that sin is sin, just our level of understanding when it comes to the sinner.

So here's where the confusion comes in: why, if the Catechism spells out for us, plain and simple, what is right, do supposed Catholics insist on teaching everything that is wrong? It's one thing for an individual Catholic to hold wrong teaching and keep it to themselves. They are just ignorant or misguided unto themselves, not really doing much harm to anyone else. But its a completely different thing when those individuals are in the public sphere, influential at multiple levels, and insist on spreading their...misguided-ness...to others. Pseudo-Catholics like Sebelius, Biden, and Pelosi who call themselves Catholic, but act completely opposite to it. Or the small number of women religious leaders of the LCWR who have significant doctrinal issues. Or the priests in Austria openly dissenting on priestly celibacy and women priests (or better yet, the Australian priest who has outright come out and said he was married!). I can post and rant for a million more blog posts on these topics and barely scratch the surface. So the question becomes: how can they call themselves Catholic?

I came across this saying: "I'd rather have a good atheist than a bad Christian". I know that it might be crazy for me to say so, but I really like this statement. I don't know who to attribute it to, but there seems to be a small amount of truth in it, don't you think. For the purposes of this post, I want to alter this statement just a bit: I'd rather have a non-Catholic than a subversive Catholic. That is to say, I'd rather all these supposed Catholics convert to anything else, instead of spewing non-Catholic trash under the Catholic umbrella. Some of you may say, that its a good thing to have a lot of Catholics. Candidly and respectfully, you would be wrong, especially if we have Catholics who are anything but. Because in the end, it will be those Catholics, and not outside forces, that will destroy the Church.

I know I've said some really loaded things. But given all the latest news, it needed to be addressed. Of course, many of the Better Bloggers are saying and arguing things more eloquently, but I think it is important for people to know that these issues aren't just affecting the adult Catholic world. Young adults such as myself, and even the youth, know what's going on. Our voices are smaller and less experienced, but that doesn't mean we don't know that there is a significant problem, and it will take a united Church, with the intercession of St. Michael, and God's holy help, to combat it.

I'll talk more of my reasons in a later post, but for right now, I need to be studying for World Religions.

Pax vobiscum.

Classy Flash Mob

Saw this on Deacon Kandra's blog. And I love flash mobs. I feel like all college kids do. But even more than flash mobs, I love "classical" (little c) music, in the layman's sense. My music appreciation prof would kill me if I told him this particular piece was Classical (big C). So when you put the two together, you get smiles and warm fuzzies. 

After all my finals, I thought this would be a good thing to post. There's alot of beautiful things in the world, despite all the ugliness. This is one of them. I really wish this would happen to me one morning, particularly one of my way to a class or something. 

In case you were wondering, this is Edvard Grieg's 'Peer Gynt' Suite No. 1, Opus. 46 "Morning". It really does feel like morning. Enjoy!

1 Down...That's it?!

So I've got one final done. Yet amazingly, I feel like I've been studying for a week! Ahh! FYI, in case anyone notices the time stamp on this particular post, yes...that's 6am. No, I did not get up super early to post. Yes, I have pulled another all nighter (second night in a row) and this post serves as my study break. But considering my final is at 9am, maybe I shouldn't be doing this, but oh well. Apparently, ranting is a side effect of sleep deprivation.

I'm starting to get a hang of what I want this blog to be. A chronicle of sorts of living out the college life as a Catholic, and talking about it as candidly as I can. Hence the title: Candid Catholic Collegian. Oh man, I really need sleep. But thank the Lord, after this Chem final, my next one (American Constitutional Development) isn't until Monday. This Chem final is the hardest one, so it's all downhill from here. Once this final is done, I may or may not sleep for an entire day. That is of course, as long as I don't drink one of these:

Normally, coffee doesn't do anything for me, but I am terrified of drinking one of these things. The side effects, at least for me, could be...unfortunate. So I just rely on epic music and second winds, or as I like to call 'em, slaps of the Holy Spirit. I've gotten into a better habit of always praying before I start studying, before my exams, after my exams, in the middle of studying...basically just praying when I need to. It helps. I don't know if God hears me or not, but just the simple act of praying and turning my undivided attention to him even for a few seconds gives me strength and perseverance.

Anyways, enough of my ranting, back to Thermochemistry and Quantum Mechanics. I should really look into a Catholic science student prayer.

St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for me.
St. Joseph of Cupertino, pray for me.
St, Lorenzo Ruiz, pray for me.
Blessed Pope John Paul II, pray for me.
Mama Mary, pray for me.

Peace, blessings, and restful sleep!

I Love (Episcopate) Ordination Masses!

Together with the whole Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston, the second metropolitan see of Texas and my home, and Holy Mother Church, I rejoice at the Ordination of Bishop George Sheltz as Auxiliary Bishop of Galveston-Houston.

Auxiliary Bishop Sheltz,
smiling with Emeritus Archbishop Fiorenza,
after receiving his mitre and crozier. 

Even though we had Emeritus Archbishop Joseph Fiorenza and Retired Auxiliary Bishop Vincent Rizotto (who confirmed me), it's about time Cardinal DiNardo got some help...after all, the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston is huge!

Here is the video of the Ordination Mass. I love watching Ordination Masses. So many Knights of Columbus, Peter Claver, Order of Malta, and Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre (and associated Ladies and Dames), religious, seminarians, deacons, priests, bishops, and just so many lay faithful in general. But most of all, I love them because of their very purpose: ordaining a (hopefully) humble and priestly man to the Order of Bishops, who receives the fullness of the Sacrament of Holy Orders, and therefore becomes a successor to the Apostles. Holy Mother Church rejoices in this, and so do I!

Other than the beauty and grandeur of the Mass, which took place in the equally beautiful and grand Co-Cathedral of the Sacred Heart, it is always a pleasure to listen to one of His Eminence's homilies. I remember when we talked about Athanasius and Arius during my Christian Heritage class (required at Baylor), and I wish Cardinal DiNardo was my professor at the time. It would have been much more engaging...and I'm sure it would have given the Baptists a run for their money (LOL!, I love the Baptists...well...some of them).  

Auxiliary Bishop George Sheltz is a native Houstonian, so the Archdiocese feels (I think) doubly blessed to have a native son as its new Bishop. He has served at numerous parishes, and was the founding pastor of my own home parish, Christ the Redeemer. Woo...bragging rights! Lol. 

My prayer for Bishop Sheltz is this: That by the grace of God the Father, the mercy of Christ the Son, and the strength of the Holy Spirit, he may lead the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston with love, charity, and faithfulness to the teachings of Christ and of the Catholic Church. That he may always remain obedient to Holy Mother Church, and faithfully and strongly defend her against both inner and outer heresy and attack. That he may fulfill his episcopal duties to the best of his abilities, always with the help of God. And that may serve as an inspiration to the people of Galveston-Houston and the whole Church. 

From a humble college student at Baylor University in the Diocese of Austin, Church of Central Texas, congratulations to Auxiliary Bishop George Sheltz of the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston on his ordination. God bless him always!

Dominus vobiscum.

Study Break!

My first final is in two days and so far I've stayed up way past midnight every night. And then of course, since I sleep later, I wake up later, and my natural circadian rhythm (that that psychology!) is all messed up now. I don't know about everybody else, but Finals Week seems to bring out the crazy in people. So, before I go insane, I decided to take a quick break, catch up on some blogs, and maybe post a little bit myself.

So for your entertainment, here are some cartoons that accurately reflect my current state of being:

and...

and, although slightly morbid...

And so ends my study break. If any other students are taking a break and happen to stumble upon this, I'm praying for ya! 

P.S. I could use the prayers too! =)

"Keep my Heart Alive"

I know there is a lot of debate out there, especially among Catholics, as to the merit of Contemporary Christian/Praise and Worship/mainstream Christian music. This little debate, at least from what I've noticed, is mainly a generational one: the youth love it and the wise and experienced, at the very least, strongly dislike it. Now, being somewhere in the middle, a young adult if you will, I am a firm believer that Christian music has its purposes, and is best used in certain situations. I love listening to Christian music mainly because there are some very gifted Christian (and Catholic, though less) artists out there, and they put lyric and harmony to my feelings that I could not have done as eloquently. However, I really don't like the use of contemporary Christian music in the liturgy. I know, the teen population out there will say that they love their Christian music during their Teen Masses because they're more likely to sing along. The problem with that is that there are very few Catholic artists out there. And the ones that do exist do not always right generation-appropriate liturgical music. So during these Teen Masses, the youth are loving it, and the rest of us are kind of cringing in our seats. I think the same goes for trying to "youth-ify" existing liturgical music, such as the responsorial psalms. Of course, that's not to say that I love hearing polyphony and a capella during every Mass, although I do for the Extraordinary Form. But for my Ordinary Form Mass, I like some of the more traditional hymns, particularly the ones I can sing to. Despite personal preferences in musical taste, I believe it is important for the congregation to participate in the singing. In my humble opinion, there are few things that sound better in this world than an entire church full of people singing "Sing of Mary" or "Christ Be Our Light". As my youth minister used to say, "singing is like praying twice...give back your God-given voice, to God". So I guess what I'm saying is that Christian music in all its forms is for the sole purpose of glorifying God, singing him praise and thanksgiving. How can such music not be beautiful? Again, despite generations and personal tastes, Christian music can be heavenly, and each type serves a different purpose.

Now before I digress further, let me get to the point of this post. I was walking to a meeting with my advisor this morning, listening to Pandora on my Droid X. My Pandora rarely leaves my Christian music station, and I am a firm believer that sometimes the Lord will speak to you through song. I was feeling particularly...dejected this morning. I had so much on my mind: my future, my present, my past, and all of it was fighting for control of my thoughts. Should I go to med school? Should I join the seminary? What should I be doing? I was also thinking, as pseudo-intellectual college students do, about the world. Friends, allow me to be blunt...there is a lot of crap going on in the world. And its not just the world, I mean, just look at our Holy Mother Church. We have so many problems going on in it at the moment, it is being attacked both from the outside and the inside. It's just a lot to think about, especially if deep in your heart, you want to be able to do something about it all. I'm just a college student, but it is absolutely exhausting thinking about all of this. It is easy to see why so many people become jaded in college. I was just feeling overwhelmed...and empty. But then this song came on Pandora, and it was as if God was trying to tell me something.

I know some of you will snicker or roll your eyes. There is not much purely Catholic contemporary music out there, the majority of genre is dominated by Protestant artists. But that does not mean what they have to say or sing is any less pertinent to a devout Catholic. Now this song that I am starting to love does not have any deep theology or heavy introspection. I think it is just trying to say what many people are feeling...what I was feeling. So no matter what your opinions are, no matter your taste in music, contemporary Christian music does have a purpose in this world, and to many people. At the risk of sounding relativistic (which I'm not by the way), if it brings people closer to God, how is that a bad thing?

The song is Keep my Heart Alive by Sanctus Real. And while I did not do away with all my overwhelming feelings of emptiness or exhaustion, it did serve to remind me of one thing: that no matter, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me".

Hope you enjoy the song.

The LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, 

and be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace.’

-Numbers 6: 24-26

Dominus vobiscum.

Litany Lullaby

When my family immigrated here to the States, my family and I lived in Far Rockaway, New York. From what I remember, it's basically NYC, in Queens, I think. I remember that my then-only younger brother (there are two of them now) and I went to a St. Mary's Star of the Sea Catholic School, a private Catholic school attached to St. Mary Star of the Sea Parish (which is now a Baptist church from what I hear). We lived in an apartment complex across from the East River, and I remember that most Saturdays, my family and I would go to the "beach" across the street and play in the sand. I also remember my dad trying to teach us how roller skate and ride a bike in the hallway. I remember trick-or-treating, celebrating Christmas, birthdays, and watching the fireworks during New Year's. But what I remember the most is that every single night, my family would pray the Rosary. Now when I say "pray the Rosary", I mean my parents would pray the Rosary and my brothers and I prayed our "kiddie" prayers: Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be. And we always did this right before we would go to sleep. My brother and I would get into our bunk bed (I think I always had the top bunk), my parents would tuck us in, and then we would start praying. After we prayed our "kiddie" prayers together, my parents would sit down, face the little grotto that had a Santo Nino and a Mahal na Birhen, and they would pray the Rosary as we went to sleep. It became almost like a lullaby for me and my brother. It was not until much later when I finally learned how to pray the Rosary in RE that we started praying the Rosary together as a family. We did this every...single...night. I do not remember ever missing it. It was our thing, our nightly ritual. Even now, my family still prays the Rosary every night, and of course, I join them when I'm home.

Over the years, because of life and circumstance, our nightly ritual changed a little bit, but not much. When I was younger, after the Rosary, my parents would pray the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary, also known as the Litany of Loreto. If you asked 5 year old me, I would have told you that all it was, was my dad saying some big words, and both of them saying "pray for us". But 5 year old me would have also told you that I remember the things my dad said, what I realize now to epithets of the BVM, were always pretty sounding, stuff like: "Tower of David", "Tower of Ivory", "Cause of Our Joy", "Singular Vessel of Devotion", and a bunch of other stuff. It was always around this time, when they were praying the Litany, that I started to fall asleep...knowing I was safe and in a good place (spiritually). I don't exactly remember when, probably a little after my baby brother was born, but eventually my parents stopped praying the Litany. They still prayed the Rosary, but the Litany stopped. I never asked why, but maybe I will someday. And over time, I had forgotten it. It wasn't actually until I was in college, when I just happened across it again, that it brought back all these wonderful memories. I think I was giving a talk on the Rosary and I wanted to show people how my family prayed it. So after a bit of web surfing, I just stumbled upon it. I was reading it, and all those pretty words came flooding back to me, as if they never left. And I guess in a way, they never did. In retrospect, the Rosary and the Litany, and my parents devotion to both, is what has probably heavily influenced my own strong devotion to Mama Mary. Being a mama's boy, I guess I see my own mother in the  Mahal na Birhen and vice-versa. But regardless, I am a Marianist, through and through. 

So now I come to the point of this post. I want to share with all of you...my lullaby. For those who don't know, a litany is basically a list. You have the Litany of the Saints, the Litany of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and a whole host of other beautiful litanies that the Church gives us. But out of all, this will always be my favorite. It lists many of the different epithets of the Holy Mother, always with the invocation of "pray for us". Critics of prayer like this, both Catholic and non-Catholic, always criticize the repetitiveness of it. How can this be prayer, repeating the same thing over and over again? My question to them is: how is not? When we are praying for something, something important to us, we don't just say it once, right? We say it over and over and over again, hoping and praying that God would hear us. So to with this. As Catholics, we believe Mama Mary to be the greatest intercessor on our behalf, the Mother of God, exalted higher than all the saints and even all the angels. This is the Virgin to whom the angels proclaim "Hail, full of grace". As my priest says, "she has the ear of Christ", just as she did during the wedding at Cana. 

So here it is, the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary, my lullaby:

Lord have mercy on us.
Lord have mercy on us.
Christ have mercy on us.
Christ have mercy on us.
Lord have mercy on us.
Lord have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us.
God the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, pray for us
Holy Mother of God, pray for us
Holy Virgin of virgins, pray for us
Mother of Christ, pray for us
Mother of divine grace, pray for us
Mother most pure, pray for us
Mother most chaste, pray for us
Mother inviolate, pray for us
Mother undefiled, pray for us
Mother most amiable, pray for us
Mother most admirable, pray for us
Mother of good counsel, pray for us
Mother of our Creator, pray for us
Mother of our Redeemer, pray for us
Virgin most prudent, pray for us
Virgin most venerable, pray for us
Virgin most renowned, pray for us
Virgin most powerful, pray for us
Virgin most merciful, pray for us
Virgin most faithful, pray for us
Mirror of justice, pray for us
Seat of wisdom, pray for us
Cause of our joy, pray for us
Spritual vessel, pray for us
Vessel of honor, pray for us
Singular vessel of devotion, pray for us
Mystical rose, pray for us
Tower of David, pray for us
Tower of ivory, pray for us
House of gold, pray for us
Ark of the covenant, pray for us
Gate of Heaven, pray for us
Morning Star, pray for us
Health of the sick, pray for us
Refuge of sinners, pray for us
Comforter of the afflicted, pray for us
Help of Christians, pray for us
Queen of Angels, pray for us
Queen of Patriarchs, pray for us
Queen of Prophets, pray for us
Queen of Apostles, pray for us
Queen of Martyrs, pray for us
Queen of Confessors, pray for us
Queen of Virgins, pray for us
Queen of all Saints, pray for us
Queen conceived without original sin, pray for us
Queen of the most holy Rosary, pray for us
Queen of peace, pray for us
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world: Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world: Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world: Have mercy on us.
Pray for us, most holy Mother of God,
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
Let us pray.

O God, whose only begotten Son, by his life, death and resurrection has purchased for us the rewards of eternal life, grant, we beseech you, that while meditating of the mysteries of the most holy rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we may imitate what they contain and obtain what they promise, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

During Easter:
God our Father, you give joy to the world by the resurrection of your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Through the prayers of his mother, the Virgin Mary, bring us to the happiness of eternal life. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.


And for any Latin fanatics out there like me, here is the Litany in Latin: Litaniae Virginis Maria


Thanks letting me take my trip down memory lane. My mother always says "the family that prays together, stays together". And even though, my family has had its fair share of problems, I firmly believe that our prayers, by the grace of God, have kept us together. If I ever figure out my vocation, and its to be a father and family man, I fully intend on praying every night with my family and spreading our tradition. But then again, even if I was Father, I think I'd still do the same thing. 


May this prayer be for you what it has been for me: a lullaby, soothing me, and letting me know that everything is ok. 


Dominus vobiscum.

Belgian folk print depicting the different names of the Blessed Virgin Mary said in the Litany of Loreto.

HHS Mandate: Not Just Religiously Wrong

Ok, ok, ok, ok! I am super-excited about this particular post for a lot of reasons:

  1. Makes me realize that maybe I should have been a Poli Sci major instead of Biology, but still pre-med.
  2. Talks about some things that we've discussed in my American Constitutional Development course.
  3. The HHS contraception mandate is not just religiously and more morally wrong, but unconstitutional.
  4. Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) is a BAYLOR BEAR! How awesome is that? Flinging that green and gold afar!

See the video of Representative Trey Gowdy of South Carolina (Baylor alum and a Baptist =)) rip into Secretary Kathleen Sebelius of the Department of Health and Human Services (a "supposed" Catholic, but judging from the video...I'm not sure where she got her education) regarding the HHS mandate on contraception after the jump.

Hilarious Picture and Caption from a Better Blogger

From The Pinoy Catholic, a much, much Better Filipino Catholic Blogger: SNAPSHOT: What the Holy Father was saying.

I don't know why, but that picture and caption cracked me UP! Whew..dang funny. Lol. We should all be willing to make fun of ourselves as Catholics every once in a while.

FIN!

Bringing out a little of the old Spanish to say "I'm done!"...with the semester that is. This has been a really really rough year, for greater reasons other than difficult classes. But by the grace of God, the divine mercy of Christ, and the strength of the Holy Spirit, I got through it all, although not completely unscathed. I've lost many things, friendships included, but I've also gained some things, like an even more fervent belief that God will not put you through anything that you cannot get through. My faith has suffered alot, and it won't be until many years from now until I finally figure out if I come out of this better or worse. But by all initial estimates, I think I'm going to be ok.

Of course, now that the semester is over, that means that Finals are beginning. A few Dead Days and then BOOM! FINALS! Dreaded, dreaded Finals. Necessary evil, but evil nonetheless. I jest (kind of) since, as a student, my vocation is to my studies, and this gives me renewed strength to always do well and always glorify the Lord in the process.

So friends, as these dark and dreary days of endless studying, endless hunger, and endless insomnia begin, please pray for me. As always, let me know if I can pray for you.

Dominus vobiscum.

Bahaha! Man, I just love cartoons! This one is eerily accurate. Plus, it has my post title in it, "FIN!", and...there's zombies. For some reason, college kids are obsessed with zombies lately. Lol. But seriously...please pray for me!

Source: DeviantArt

Extra Credit: Pilipinong Katoliko

This was Spiritual/Cultural Autobiography for my World Religions class. I thought it was fairly decent and insightful. It took me awhile to write it, but my prof seemed to like it too. I thought this cartoon is pretty hilarious too. Read it after the jump.